Week 3 - Seattle

We went to see the Blue Angels at Lake Washington on Sunday, and stood for two solid hours at lake’s edge right under their entry mark. They pick landmarks to use as guides, and the end of the road we were at was the eastern point, and they used it for low altitude stuff right over our heads. It was insane. The pic above I shot during their high speed pass. There was quite a boom, like a loud thunder clap, but I don't think they broke the sound barrier. Whatever - it was gnarly.


Above is a picture I shot at a major sushi find. It’s one of them conveyor belt places where plates of sushi go past at a constant rate. They’re becoming more common, but this one is dirt freakin’ cheap. Salmon for $1, scallops for $1.50, and really good sea urchin for just $3. It was a great. I went there with two other couples, and we were like a pack of bitter lions hitting a slow hippo at mach speed.

But last week we were given the opportunity to sit next to a first date at Redfin the other night. Right at the sushi bar. And it wasn’t just a first date, but the first time the girl was to try sushi. Yeah, I guess I have to clarify – it was a girl and guy date. I’m not sure what a same sex first date would sound like, but I suspect more intelligent, interesting, less awkward, and probably includes a lot less bullshit.

And the girl was smokin’ hot – Indian, dark skin, eyes black not brown, and nice lips glossed in some type of wood lacquer. Being a guy I was rooting for the dude, you know, ‘send her home tomorrow in dirty clothes’ type sentiments. What can I say? I’m a guy.


(The picture above is funny. Kata's dog named Diesel was walking across the street when it saw the cow and dog sculpture. Diesel wanted nothing to do with it, and planted himself in the street. Kata had to drag him closer. Took him a while to make nice with the cow.)

Lia noticed how she looked happy enough, willing to try the raw fish and give this guy a shot. But right off the bat the guy starts blowing it. As she awkwardly attempted using chopsticks (I guess she’d never had Chinese food either), the guy started gushing over her skills, and how he “couldn’t believe it was her first time!”


(Lia's birthday present. It's a dress form that I got the idea for originally from Fran, whose picture is below. I had to have it shipped from New York to meet us in Seattle.)


The poor girl had all the finger dexterity of Gumby. (For the kids, Gumby was the OG claymation cartoon character, and had no fingers). Nerves, maybe, I don’t know, but it was obvious that he was going overboard with the praise.

Then the guy wouldn’t shut up about himself and his superior sushi zen. He’d walked in shouting his familiarity with the chef. “Ben! How are you Ben? Long time no see Ben! What’s special tonight, Ben?” He spoke like Ben was code for something. Maybe it was. And then he started ordering using the Japanese names for the stuff. This, and that, and the other. It was rude, like speaking a foreign language in front of an English speaker when it isn’t necessary, and when the English speaker is part of the conversation.


(Above is Lia and Corina. Corina is from the same little town in Romania as Lia, and they knew each other in school. Corina lives here in Seattle. Pretty cool.)

And think about it. If you’ve never had sushi before, and you’re freaked out, the last thing you want to hear are whacked out names for stuff you’re going to eat. “Tuna. Tuna? Oh, I know tuna! Had it in sandwiches when I was a kid.” It makes being prepared and up for it all the easier. But Tono? Unagi? Booger? Yeah, it ain’t right.




(I like to golf. My stepdad John and I go to a course he really likes. The top picture is him being happy he had me on a course he knew really well. And it's an oddball course. The second picture is the second green. Who the hell plants a big bish in the middle of the green? Third picture is him sending a ball over the green. I won - 43 to 49.Now that I know that course, I'll be nailing it next time. My good friend Tony will love geting his ass kicked on this course.)

The guy didn’t even have the presence of mind to start her off on something easy, like a California Roll, or seared Ahi, which looks a lot like cooked fish, and technically it is. Instead this guy throws down bright red tuna of some kind, which looked like some sort of meat jello, and salmon, which with its slippery texture and shiny appearance screams, “advanced.”


(Me, Lia and Corina -yeah, that's how we roll.)

To make matters worse, in an effort to impress her further, he orders these tempura shrimp heads complete with legs and whickers and antennae and everything bizarre sticking out of them, looking as if they’d come to life and scamper off the counter. This guy was waging psychological warfare, not swooning.

She waited for quite some time before going in for a piece, while the dude scarffed, throwing down piece after piece. And naturally she mangled it with her chopsticks. The whole thing hit the counter, before coming apart over the soy sauce, before breaking up over her napkin. “Oh my God I can’t believe how good you are! This is your first time?”

Lia doesn’t laugh at much, allotting herself only twenty minutes a year to giggle out loud. But she was red faced trying to hold it in. She kept smacking me in the leg, “Stop staring.”


(I went to a baseball game. Go Mariners!)

Of course I’m going to stare. It’s a train wreck, a hot-looking train with long hair, full of sake (yeah, he was pouring sake down he throat). Of course I’m going to stare, and if she gags, I’m going to comment!

She finally gets it into her mouth and starts chewing. I think in polite society
and in cultures where etiquette still applies, women never pack their mouths with food. I don’t think she’d ever had anything larger than a cube of sugar between her teeth. She was working, chewing and chomping and grinding and at some point had to turn her head from side to side to move the stuff around. But hats off for doing it with some sort of persistence, though I’m sure had her father seen her doing that there would have been words.

Dipstick noticed her extra effort, and simply said, “Relax, take it easy,” and turned his attention forward. I think he sensed something bad could happen, and if I think about it, how does one prepare for a girl to blow her sushi over the counter? I don’t think anybody wants to end up in that situation. Regardless, his reaction seemed slimy to me.


(The girls. And Diesel. At the lake. On Sunday.)

She didn’t touch another bite for what seemed like fifteen minutes, I kept waiting for him to order some back up food for her, some tempura veggies, maybe some soup, or some pizza, whatever. But he kept ordering the raw stuff, and lots of it. He wouldn’t shut up about himself, and kept referring to Americans and their bad habits like he was exempt. Lia noticed the look on her face turn from adventurous, to disappointed.

Finally she leaves – the rest room I suspect. But I joked with Lia she was going to get a hot dog or something at the bar down the street. Ben mentioned something about the girl, and dickhead started in, “Maybe with a little help from you, BEN, this might end well!”

Pfft. This guy wasn’t going to get a feel – no way, not even the bottom of her shoe. Sushi jackass had really bummed her out, and Lia verified it with a play by play of her demeanor. And when she came back, she looked bummed.

By then Lia and I were well into our own sushi comas. The quality of their food is hands down the best I’ve ever had. What happened to bonehead and his date I don’t know, but for anyone out there thinking of wooing a girl and impressing her through sushi, be prepared with a back-up menu. But if she can handle whole pieces, rice and all one after the other – major score dude. Maaaajor score.


We went house shopping. Above is Lia sort of happy about a deck.


Above is Lia nott happy about a kitchen.


Above is Lia very happy about a house.


And above is Lia negotiating for that house.

Good night folks.